I’m gonna be honest in this post. Sometimes, this dreadful feeling arrives in my chest, this realization that I could end up alone. I know I’m only 22, and I know I’m supposed to be living up my early 20’s so that at least I can say SOMETHING happened right? Yet at some point, it stopped. I no longer felt like sleeping with random people just to spite my ex – I knew at some point I would be an old bag and nobody would care about me anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of men who have already moved away from women. My older cousin is 35, and everyone her age who reaches past the 30 mark has found themselves single because the men their age are fooling around with younger women. I myself have never been attracted to older men simply because it felt perverted to even think of sleeping with one of them – since my own brother is about the same age. However, I fear even more than the Bridget Jones and Carrie Bradshaw of the last generation – that my generation is going to be more alone and forgotten than ever before.
The men that I could end up dating – Late Millennials since I am a Gen Z, are even more idealistic than men in the past. In my experience, I was not even able to get into my last almost-relationship because the guy I was with typed me as the “type” to get jealous even though he didn’t even give me a chance and blocked me, only later to convince himself than I was never his type anyway and that I “seduced him.” Nor do the men of this age bracket even know what they want. Let’s face it, S was not looking for someone who was more emotionally mature and less jealous – he’s looking for some fitness babe with tits to put his face in. That is what really happened, and there’s no point in trying to find “emotional maturity.”
Emotional Maturity is this hot-buzz word that people are throwing around these days. One needs to look no forward than last season of Bachelor in Paradise – where 23 year old Rachel Nolan was proposed to by a man 10 years older than him because she was “much more emotionally mature than other people her age.” I had similarly found someone on Whisper who was 35 and dating an 18 year old girl. He said he simply found women his age to be immature and catty compared to this girl – whom he said knew what he was thinking all the time. I asked him, “So I’ve been hearing this word emotional maturity being thrown about lately, I was wondering why this girl is so much more mature than anyone else you’ve experienced?” He answered, simply, that she never got jealous ever and was always in a good mood. THAT WAS IT PEOPLE: THE CHICK HAD NO EMOTIONS AND WAS COMPLETELY SUBMISSIVE TO HIS WILL. When I asked my ex about that too, he claimed to have changed his number.
Later he asked me not too long ago, “Are you okay? You were dealing with a lot of stuff the last time I talked to you.” “Lots of stuff” as in “This is a crazy chick who doesn’t realize that I’m God’s gift to women and couldn’t have possibly done anything wrong to her.” I told him, quite simply, that if he felt it pertinent to tell me to date other people or claimed “You should have stayed with me” in regards to S, he was wasting his time. I am wasting my time. Every guy I talk to on Whisper has been, in short, very ugly. There’s a ton of sexist stuff on the internet that say that women need to lower their standards. To everyone wondering why I simply cannot be with a guy less attractive than me: It’s simply because I have sexual needs that need to be fulfilled. Men are never held to the same standard as women, so why should women have to marry men they aren’t attracted to when they are having orgasms every night to the thought of someone else? (In my experience, it’s very frustrating.)
To my male followers, I know some of you have concern about the women in your life or who have left your life. All I can say is, we are not perfect as a gender. We can be liberated or domesticated, and at the end of the day all we want is to be loved. I’m not sure I can say the same for men in this regard, since men from MGTOW claim they can have a life without women and be completely happy, but SOME women (as there are some that really do want your money – and I’m befuddled by these women and the men who get with them everyday) like myself keep working out, eating healthy and working on themselves everyday simply because they want a relationship where they can take care of a man and have their sexual needs fulfilled. This was the desire I had with S, but alas it’s not meant to be. I’m not sure if love is enough anymore. I think this generation is full of trust issues, but I do think there is going to be a lot of unhappy people if someone does not step up and say “Hey, I think I want a happy fulfilling relationship with an imperfect person.”
That’s just my thoughts anyway. Shout out to S, if you are listening. I hope you don’t end up with a big-boobed Asian woman that steals your money, but if you do end up dating a ditzy and kind woman who can’t take care of herself, never gets jealous and makes your groin tingle every time she laughs – I will be jealous, but I guess I can’t do anything about it.